knowledgeofgoodandevil

So He said, “Go forth and stand on the mountain before the Lord,” And behold, the Lord was passing by! And a great and strong wind was rending the mountains and breaking in pieces the rocks before the Lord; but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a sound of a gentle blowing. When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood in the entrance of the cave. And behold, a voice came to him and said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” Then he said, “I have been very zealous fo the Lord, the God of hosts: for the sons of Israel have forsaken Your covenant torn down Your altars and killed Your prophets with the sword. And I alone are left; and they seek my life, to take it away. (1 Kings 19:11-14)

So many times this past year I thought, “Oh, this is it! This is the job I’m going to get. God would definitely want me to have this job. It’s all clear now!” Only to find out I didn’t get the job. I would lick my wounds and be completely confused. “That was a perfect job. Surely God wanted that for me.” But He didn’t. And then I would feel alone, rejected, as if God wasn’t there. As if He abandoned me.

The same thing would happen over and over again. I would say to myself, “Okay, this time. This is the time. This is certainly what God has in store for me. Those other jobs weren’t His will. This is it.” Only to find out it wasn’t. And it happened over and over again. I began to sink lower and lower, feeling utterly alone. Feeling separated from God, like Elijah. That same feeling that God has left.

But God promises He will never leave us or forsake us. That’s a promise. So when I felt God had left, I couldn’t trust my feelings. I had to wait on the Lord and trust God’s promises. Like Elijah, it may seem that God is in the roaring wind, but He is not. Or God is in the earthquake, but He is not there. Or surely He’s in the fire, but God’s not in the fire either. Where God is, is in the gently blowing wind – soft and gentle.

That’s where He was for me this past year. I spent so much time blinded by the potential new jobs and all that goes with it. And when it didn’t happen, I was crushed. What I forgot, was God was there the whole time. He was in the soft gentle blowing wind. He never left me. He never will. But we have to remind ourselves of that very fact.

Now as I look back at my year, I see God’s gentleness coming through in my life the whole year. I saw it in the hummingbird that hovered over a plant in my backyard till I noticed him. I heard it from the encouraging words of friends who lifted me up. I felt it in the overwhelming peace I would feel, once I let God in and recognized His work. Believer, God WILL NEVER LEAVE US or FORSAKE US. Look to the gentle wind and you will see Him.

Some of you may or may not have read the Chronicles of Narnia series by C.S. Lewis. One of my favorite books is, “The Horse And His Boy.” Here is an excerpt that I absolutely love.

“Shasta could see all the terrible claws extended. Aravis screamed and reeled in the saddle. The lion was tearing her shoulders. Shasta, half mad with horror, banged to lurch toward the brute. He had no weapon, not even a stick or a stone. He shouted out, idiotically, at the lion as one would a dog. “Go home! Go home!” For a fraction of a second he was staring right into its wide-opened, raging mouth. Then, to his utter astonishment, the lion, still on its hind legs, checked itself suddenly, turned head over heels, picked itself up, and rushed away.” (The Horse and His Boy, by C.S. Lewis)

That scene is describing the horse and his boy running as fast as they can to get away from a lion. The lion is pursuing them and won’t let up.

This is the scene that explains the first scene: “I was the lion.” And as Shasta gaped with open mouth and said nothing, the Voice continued. “I was the lion who forced you to join with Aravis. I was the cat who comforted you among the houses of the dead. I was the lion who drove the jackals from you while you slept. I was the lion who gave the Horses the new strength of fear for the last mile so that you should reach King Lune in time.” (The Horse and His Boy, by C.S. Lewis)

That last line explains the first scene. In the first scene, the horse is being chased by a lion. The horse is afraid and runs faster to get away from the lion. What the horse and the boy don’t know, was the lion was Aslan, a picture of God. God who loves us, yet in this scene He causes fear in the horse to get him to run faster. He needed to reach the king in time.

What seemed like something fearful, was actually God guiding the horse and his boy.

Isn’t this like our lives, as Believers? We often can’t see God. We only see the fear. Something is pushing us harder or making us go in a direction we’re unsure of. But God loves the Believer. He wouldn’t bring harm into our lives. In that moment, we can’t see that it is in fact, God who is chasing us. He is the One pushing us. Not because He hates us, but because He loves us. He pushes us forward, for our own benefit. The difficulty is seeing, in the moment, that God is good and that He loves us. And whatever hardship we face, it is for our benefit. God is not the author of chaos. Rather than, every good thing comes down from the Father of Lights.

So hang on, Friend. In those fearful moments. In those waiting times, if you are a believer, wait on Him. You will see His fingerprints on your life. And what you thought was a fearful thing was actually God intervening in your life.

I am back. I took a couple of weeks off. But now I’m back.

My son is a swimmer. He works hard at swimming, going to practice everyday. He was starting to get a little frustrated with his swim. He wasn’t dropping time at his meets and that was really frustrating him. One of his coaches called him aside to talk to him. She said she was watching his swim, and told him to make a tweak in his stroke. She said it would help him swim faster. He tried it and it did! One little tweak and it changed everything. He’s been swimming better than he has in a long time and dropping time.

I recently had to make a tweak in my own life. As many of you know, I have spent the past year struggling to find a job. I was walking through the valley, as God spent time speaking to me and guiding me. I had good days and bad days. I spent time reminding myself that God loved me, He knows my needs and He’s heard my prayers. That helped me a lot. But there were still times I didn’t quite remember that.

I’m kind of back into the job front. I have a job, but it’s temporary. It will end in a month. When I focus my eyes on the problem, I start to panic. I start to wonder where in the world I’ll find another job. I think and remember that I don’t want to feel badly about everything like I did last year. I don’t want to be in that place trying to find a job and getting no where, doubting myself.

And because I don’t want to feel badly again, I’ve made a little tweak in my thinking. Just a small change, but it has huge consequences. You’ve heard of the phrase, “Looking at the world with rose-colored glasses,” right? That means you look at the world and see only good, you don’t see the bad. My tweak has to do with the way I look at my problem now. And that has made all the difference. I don’t look at the problem with rose-colored glasses, but my tweak has to do with where I look.

Here’s my tweak. Instead of starring at the problem and letting worry and fear take over my brain, I look at God. I think about the fact that I’m His daughter. I remind myself that He knows the plans He has for me, plans for my welfare and not for calamity to give me a future and a hope. As I make this little tweak and stare at God rather than my problem, all the stress washes away. All the fear and worry leave me and I’m left with a sense of well-being, of hope.

Walking the Christian life isn’t easy, but it’s easier when God is your Father and He’s watching out for you. Believers are children of God. That’s what God calls us – His children. So Believer, if you are facing a problem, whatever it is, don’t look at the problem – it will only stress you out more. Look at God. See God for Who He is and all of your fear and worry will wash away. When we know God’s got our back, you can’t help feeling a sense of hope and peace. Change what you’re looking at!

In this life we walk through valleys and mountain peaks. It’s the nature of the Believer’s walk. As I look back at this past year, I wonder at myself. Why couldn’t I remember that God loves me? Why did I submit to the Enemy’s lies so easily? It took awhile, but I eventually caved in.

God has been so good to me. How is it that I forget so quickly? In the midst of a storm, I can’t see clearly. God even addresses this. He has sent me encouragement over and over.

When God said, “I will never leave you or forsake you,” that’s a promise. God keeps His promises. My comfort comes from reading scripture and seeing the men and women God used who were completely flawed. That’s the beauty of scripture. The Bible doesn’t shy away from the ugly truth and flaws of it’s people.

I used to think I didn’t really understand Jonah. I used to blame him in my head that he wasn’t a nice guy, sitting there on a hill, waiting for God to destroy Ninevah. It wasn’t until I was an adult, when I heard that Jonah wrote the book of Jonah. Jonah wrote all the horrible stuff about himself. He put it all out there, without trying to clean it up and make himself look good. It was warts and all that he showed himself.

When I think of that, it warms my heart. Jonah, was completely submitted to God that he willingly wrote his story that showed what a flawed character he is. The fact that Jonah wrote about himself shows his deep commitment and submission to God. He didn’t hold anything back.

And every person we read about is flawed. We learn from their mistakes. So when I look back at myself this past year, I am comforted knowing greater men and women from scripture have screwed up just as much. Peter denied Jesus three times. Jonah tried to run from God and didn’t want a people to turn to God. David committed murder and adultery.

God doesn’t expect perfection from us. He is perfection. That is what I have to remember. God is perfection. We sang a song in church today about who is worthy to open the scroll? It’s a reference to the verse in Revelation when all of heaven waits to see who can open the scroll. Then the Lion of Judah – Jesus Christ, can open the scroll. He was perfection, yet He was crucified on the cross. He who knew no sin paid the price for our sins on the cross! What a Savior! So when my faith is wobbly, God is not up in heaven, slapping His hand to His forehead at every mistake I do. He already knows how flawed I am and He loves me anyway.

Before Jesus left the planet, He told His disciples to wait for a gift. He was leaving something with them that would help them as they walk the Christian life. He told them not to do anything until they received that gift.

What was that gift? It was the indwelling of the Holy Spirit in every Believer. Every person who accepted Jesus Christ as their Savior would now be given the gift of the Holy Spirit indwelling them. The Holy Spirit! The third Person in the trinity. The God of the universe, the Great I Am would come and live inside every person who believes. What a gift!

I have a feeling, a lot of Christians, don’t really realize what that means, the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit enters the believer and starts talking. He says to go this way. Don’t go that way. Do that. Don’t do that. He gives a believer peace and comfort. He puts our prayers into groanings we can’t even understand. He can speak through us and to us. He warns us.

If you are a believer, you’ve probably heard that voice in your head. A few years ago my son burst in the door and asked if he could go skate boarding at a place nearby. A voice in my head said very sternly, “Don’t let him go unless he wears a helmet.” So I told my son he could go only if he wears a helmet. My son complained. He didn’t want to wear the helmet. The voice in my head was insistent,”Don’t let him go unless he wears a helmet.” Again, I told my son, he couldn’t go unless he wore a helmet. Again, he complained. In my head, the voice convinced me that this was a mountain to die on. “Don’t let him unless he wears a helmet!” So I dug in my heels and told my son he can go only if he promises to wear a helmet. My son finally gave in.

An hour later, my son burst through the door again, this time holding up his arm. He was in serious pain. He tells me he thinks he broke his hand. I ask him what happened. He says he was skateboarding down a hill and fell. He smacked his head on the cement, along with his arm. I ask him if he was wearing his helmet. He said yes. I told him if he wasn’t wearing a helmet, he would have broken more than his hand. He said he knew.

My son did break his thumb in two places. If he hadn’t worn his helmet. He very likely could have suffered a head injury. I can’t tell the future, but God can. The Holy Spirit was yelling in my head, warning me not to let my son go unless he wears the helmet. I’m so glad I listened.

If you are a Believer, listen to that voice in your head. That’s not you being crazy. It’s the God of the Universe helping you. He is the gift God has given to everyone that believes. He loves us and works to guide us and protect us. Now God also warned us that we can quench the Holy Spirit, by not walking with God. So don’t do that. Listen to the Holy Spirit. He is there to guide us along. He truly is a gift.